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Did I make a New Year’s resolution? I did. But that already feels very 2025. This week, I’ve completely forgotten what it was.

Why is change so hard? We like comfort. Change unsettles the nervous system, especially when we push too fast or lead with a harsh mindset. Layering on focus, discipline, and willpower just adds pressure. Sometimes it works for a while. More often, it ends in burnout.

So how do we improve and grow? How do we let go of what’s holding us back? How do we make space for dreams, or for building something new?

I don’t think there’s a single answer, because we’re all different. But after nearly fifty New Years of trying to get it right (though, honestly, not even knowing what a “resolution” was for a good number of them), one thing keeps showing up for me: awareness.

Because if we don’t know where we’re starting from, how will we ever get where we need to go?

For many years, I set goals (creatively, professionally, and personally) that had very little to do with who I actually was or what season I was in. They had everything to do with where I thought I should end up. So I’d accomplish a few things, then realize about a quarter of the way through the year that I was on the wrong path. The rest of the year became about course-correcting. Then December would roll around, and I’d start all over again with a new resolution made the same old way.

Then last year, I started something different. I started by asking myself, “How do I want this year to feel?” I tuned into my body for the answers. And it worked wonders!

I still had goals in 2025, but I felt less pressured and more centered, because my nervous system was reassured. With my body as a compass, I could make decisions more clearly. Dread, resentment, anxiety signaled a big “no.” Energy, excitement, and longing pointed me toward “yes.” And… I had one of the biggest years of expansion yet—in multiple areas of my life.

This year, I started with mindful movement and meditation, then asked myself two simple questions: “How do I want this year to feel? What is my body asking for?” These are the words that came through:

boundaried
wise
mature
structured
contained
trusting
measured
deeper work
steady
slow
clarity

This felt very different from last year, which was about expansion, growth, and discomfort. In 2025, I started a new part-time job, found new clients, took on freelance work, relaunched my website, joined a small-business mentorship, ran two new retreats, started teaching in a new space, traveled out of the country twice to new locations, and signed my first trade book deal. When I reflected on all of that, my body didn’t ask for more. It asked for reassurance. Space to settle. Clear guardrails.

Once I had my body’s answers I stopped there. I let myself sit with what I’d uncovered. And you can stop there too.

Awareness doesn’t require action right away. Sometimes simple reflection is enough. Enough for your body to know you’re listening. For now, keep listening. Resolve nothing. Create space instead. Journal. Make something. Spend time outside. Move gently. Sit quietly. That might be more than enough for this moment.

To zoom back out for a moment: before setting goals or resolutions, try checking in with your body and nervous system first. Ask yourself, How do I want this year to feel?

Let that question guide you. Sit with whatever answers surface. Happy New Year!